I could recall when I was younger that I seldom see my mother at home. When I wake up, they aren't there anymore. When I sleep, they are not yet at home. My mother and father were busy for work. But nevertheless, I never felt like there was something lacking in my life because my mother would ready our snacks and everything we need before she leave. During weekends and holidays, she would take us out for a family bonding with our father.
I knew deep inside me that what she is doing is not as easy as one, two and three. No, it isn't about counting tasks and responsibilities. It is about why you need to do a certain task. I knew deep inside me that every single thing she is doing is for us. I can even appreciate the simple snacks she prepare for us or the days when she would drop by our school to hand in our snacks. I knew she had to skip some work just to be there. I knew she was running out of time but chose to be there.
All this time, I knew that all her sacrifices weren't for her own good but for the entire family's sake.
Now that I became a mother, I knew it wouldn't be easy but because I have pondered on the sacrifices a mom has to do, I have prepared myself for it. But then again, the only easy thing to do for being a mom is to love. The rest would require sweat, energy, sleepless nights, and a whole bunch of self-sacrifice.
I am a mother now and I have learned to wear different shoes.
I could be on high heels and walk with pride because not everyone can be a Mommy while everyone can be a mother. I could walk like a beauty queen because I know I have nurtured a beautiful individual inside of me who is gorgeously walking beside me now. I could still project with confidence while wearing heels because I know that I am empowered....because every mother is an empowered woman.
I could wear ballet flats when I needed to do more challenging tasks, so I can freely walk and set my feet on the ground while my head is still high. I could still be proud and happy even when my heels aren't raised up because I know I chose to wear flats so I can twirl and pirouette along with my music.
I could wear tennis shoes so I can run miles and reach my dreams. But running that road to my dreams isn't a race that I ran alone. I have a child on one hand, a man on the other and the entire family is joining me on the race of my life. I needed to wear the right athletic shoes so that I won' t get bruises and scars in the end. So that by the time I reach the goal, I am still whole.
I could wear classical shoes so I could learn to look back to my past. This way, I will be guided better for the future. This way, I would know how it felt to be wearing those Oxford shoes. This way, I can teach my daughter that the things that happened to the past are valuable to what we become today and who we will be in the future.
I could wear gum boots when it is stormy so that I could resist being too damp and messy. Doing this will help me to become stronger and I'll be able to show my daughter how to deal with life challenges without changing who I am. Because problems and challenges are meant to mold us into better persons and not into ugly ones.
Yes, I am a mommy and I wear different shoes. Wearing a variety of shoes isn't just a manifestation of the diverse functions and tasks I can do. It isn't just a manifestation of being beautiful and fashionable. But it shows how well I can walk and run my life.
I may have a collection of stylish shoes for women but it doesn't merely mean that I love to look great and beautiful. It means I am open to variation and that I can freely embrace changes just like the different types of shoes, designs and colors.
As mothers, we have to learn to choose which is the right shoes to wear. And if ever somebody will judge us, open your wardrobe and let them choose a shoes to wear. Let us see if they can walk with pride like what we can always do no matter how high the heels are or no matter what kind of shoes it is.