How to Deal With an Angry Child (Without Losing Your Sanity)4:37:00 PM
One of the hardest things to deal with is an angry child. As parents, you will surely agree with me!
But we have to be careful. You know why?
It's because the way we deal with their anger will have a great impact on them. It will also affect them as they grow older. Hence, we have to make sure that our ways to help our kids cope with anger will calm them down.
I could imagine Bella screaming at the top of her lungs and throwing stuff everywhere. She would shout, "You are bad!" with that angry look on her face. Well, we actually laugh at her sometimes because of how she acts but she would roar on us again and say, "Don't laugh at me! It's not funny!". Oh yes, Mademoiselle. Lol.
But then, there are times that she would be very angry and sometimes, I find it hard to deal with it especially if I have some personal problems too. But then again, I am the mother and I always try to look for ways to keep her calm or to make her forget the cause of her anger.
If you want to know, Bella gets angry due to childish reasons of course. She might not find her doll or we might not let her go out that day and others. Petty reasons, of course, but hey, she is a child. And so we have to deal with her anger also in a way that it won't hurt her.
So, I thought of writing this post on how you can deal with an angry child without going crazy and getting angry too.
How to Help Kids Manage Their Anger
1. Stay calm. First and foremost, you have to stay calm. Don't be angry like them too. Children seem to absorb the emotion around them and if you will be angry, they will become even angrier. Deal with the situation maturely.
2. Listen. If your child is talking, listen to her. Recognize what she says. Don't argue with her or reason out with her. Just let her talk. This way, you are allowing her to express her emotions.
3. Give a warm hug. Well, a hug always work. But sometimes, Bella would push me away. If that happens, then stay away. For sure, she will still let you hug her in the end. Hug your child when she wants to and she will feel better.
4. Let them calm down. If they are still at the peak of their anger, allow them to cry and be angry. They will surely calm down as long as you don't push them to be angrier. You can tell your child, "Okay you can lie on the bed for a little while and when you feel better, you can get out or you can talk to me." This way, they will get to the point where they are already in control of their emotions.
5. Let them express their anger. It is normal that even kids get angry. So, let them express that. Allow them to punch a pillow or sit in a corner or jump around. This will make it even easier for their anger to subside.
6. Don't get physical. Always avoid any physical contact that would harm the child. This might create a scar in your relationship especially that the child is angry. Also, if you get physical, you are teaching the child that you are solving the situation with aggression which isn't good.
7. Talk to your child. When he is no longer angry, talk to your child. Tell her what was her mistake and tell her what she should do. If you talk to her when her anger subsided, she will be able to understand what you are talking about.
8. Try being humorous. I find this one effective because as we create something funny out of what my daughter is angry about, she would forget her anger and would laugh with us. Remember, laughter is the best medicine.
9. Give consequences. Don't give consequences while your child is angry because it will just make her feel worse. Avoid consequence stacking. Instead, talk to her when she feels better and give consequence because of the wrong behavior and not because of the anger. Say, for instance, she said foul words to you or threw something at you. Let her know that being angry is okay but aggressive behavior is not.
10. Be a good example. If you are angry, learn how to cope with it. Take a break and don't shout. Do something that calms you. If your child can see you do that, they will do the same.
When Bella is angry, we talk to her about why she is angry and what would make her feel better. If what she wants isn't okay, we will tell her why and suggest something else to her. Talking to her in a soft and calm voice works well than shouting at her. Sometimes, we make funny stories and we will end up laughing.
How about you, can you tell me how you deal with your child when he or she is angry? Leave your child anger management tips in the comment section below. I'd love to hear how you do it!